Can you truly accept your body while still wanting to change it?

‘If I accept my body, then it means I’m giving up on myself’

This is an all-too-common sentiment when it comes to discussing body acceptance.

This notion reflects a common fear that embracing your body implies you will lack the motivation for looking after yourself.

This perspective fuels the idea that your self-worth is dependent meeting unrealistic body standards.

However, working towards body acceptance can be a profound act of self-empowerment, challenging the idea that your value is determined solely by your appearance.

What is body acceptance?

Body acceptance is about embracing your body as it is while acknowledging that you may have areas you want to change. It's about treating yourself with respect and care, fostering a positive inner dialogue, and letting go of shame. It is not about striving to be perfect.

A Different Perspective

Consider viewing your body as your partner, as you journey through life. Would your real-life partner or children only deserve your compassion and respect if they were perfect? Shouldn't they be deserving of compassion regardless? Accepting your body follows the same principle.

Contrary to popular misconceptions perpetuated by diet culture, body acceptance is not giving up on yourself, your health and your body. Instead, it is the start of the journey of reconnecting with your body from a place of compassion and not fear or hate and helps to remove the self-judgment that keeps you stuck.

To begin this journey ask yourself the following questions:

1. Why do I want to change my body? Be honest about why you want to change it. Write your thoughts down.

 2. Are these thoughts coming from a place of compassion, self-loathing or fear? Examine each thought individually and make a note.

A fear-based thought could be I want to lose weight because my husband won’t love me

A compassion-based thought could be I want to lose weight to be in less pain  

 3. Ask yourself if each individual thought is actually true? Do these beliefs hold up under scrutiny. How would you respond if a loved one expressed similar thoughts?

Recognise that attempting to punish yourself into change through self-hatred is unsustainable and doesn’t work. True transformation comes from a foundation of self-compassion and acceptance. By embracing your body with kindness and understanding, you’ll pave the way for genuine healing. You are inherently deserving of love, respect, and acceptance—just as you are.

Navigating the complexities of emotional and disordered eating requires a multifaceted approach—one that prioritises mental and emotional well-being alongside physical health. Reach out for support HERE if you would like to book in a complimentary call to find out how I can help.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, as she is a victim of diet culture’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

My clients find that simply replying to any comments with ‘Thank you’ and then changing the subject can be extremely effective and empowering.

Alternatively you may want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Overcoming binge eating, low self-esteem and body loathing - Jody’s story

Jody came to me for help to rebuild her relationship with food, having particularly struggled during the lockdown with binge eating and low self-esteem. Coming out of the pandemic, she was extremely self-conscious, avoiding social events and exercise because of the shame she felt about her body. Jody was a self-confessed people pleaser never wanting to be ‘a nuisance or ‘make a fuss’. This was impacting all aspects of her life and she desperately wanted to create change but didn’t know where to start as she explained below.

“I have had periods of binge eating on and off for the last 10 years but during and following the Covid pandemic I hit my lowest point ever. I had tried regular therapy over the years and that had helped in some respects, but really needed something more. I was so pleased to find Marcelle but right after signing up and before getting started I did feel a bit hesitant as this felt like my last chance to “fix” myself.”

We worked on bringing regularity to Jody’s meals, enjoyment of food and mindful eating in addition to a great deal of work on body image and particularly building self esteem and assertion. Jody soon realised that she has the right to be heard, seen and understood which was especially impactful. Part way through the programme, she realised she was no longer binge eating and began to push herself out of her comfort zone when it came to physical activity and going out socially. This is what she had to say:

“Marcelle has been so lovely to work with -always so understanding and non-judgmental. It was such a relief to hear that I’m not the only person struggling with the things I struggle with, and to have learned so many techniques to help improve things.  I have never been a confident person and Marcelle has helped me to be more accepting of myself, and that’s been the starting point for making positive change. Marcelle is so supportive and understanding and has really made a difference to my life. I will be forever grateful for her help and guidance.”

When it comes to emotional eating and bingeing, there is always far more to it than the food you eat. Each and every client I work with is unique but share many of the same challenges. If this is something you are struggling with, please know there is hope -it is possible to overcome your difficulties and reclaim your life

AND WHERE CAN YOU START? 

If perpetual dieting has left you in a muddle about food and eating, and you feel overwhelmed anxious and confused about what, how much and when to eat then have a read of my free resource ‘What the Diet Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know

What would you give up to be the ‘perfect’ body size?

Almost 50% of women of all shapes and sizes said they would trade a year of their life rather than be over-weight when asked in a survey. And up to 30% said they would give up their partner, having children or become an alcoholic for the perfect body size. These alarming stats tell us how deeply ingrained weight stigma has rooted itself in our society.

How is it that for many women their body size, weight or shape has become the predominant means of measuring what they are worth? Why is it that the number on the scales has been prioritised by women over their mental, physical and emotional health?

But it’s the constant preoccupation of these thoughts and the resulting stress response in the body, that may actually be leading to weight gain in addition to an unhealthy relationship with food. This cycle will then just continue throughout their entire life.

I sometimes ask my clients to think about how they would want to be remembered, what their legacy will be. Would they be happy with ‘She managed to stay thin’ on their gravestone? Morbid I know, but it certainly makes them think.

 If you are a chronic dieter, have battles with binge eating or restrict your food, do you want to be thinking the same harmful thoughts in 20, 40 or 60 years’ time?

 Or are you ready to reclaim your life from the misery and struggle that this mindset brings?

 If you need some support with this don’t battle with it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life.

This is the last chance to join my Undiet your Mind 21 day course. So for the cost of a just few takeaways, you can learn a new approach to eating so you can develop sustainable habits with confidence and let go of dieting for good.

 It’s starting tomorrow and enrolment ends tonight! Check out all the course info + enrol HERE

Alternatively Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help you with my signature one to one programmes.

Make peace with your body + build a happy relationship with food

Have you been on and off diets for years of your life?

Are you ‘in your head’ 24/7 worrying about what you will eat, what you have eaten, your weight or your shape?

Do you constantly compare yourself to others or avoid social situations because of how you feel about your body?

Perhaps you binge eat and feel out of control around food?

Maybe you turn to food as a way of coping when you feel stressed, frustrated or down?

Or could it be that you feel shame or judged by others?

.......you are not alone

In case you don’t know me, I’m Marcelle Rose, registered nutritionist, emotional eating coach + eating distress specialist.

I’m on a mission to help women make peace with their body and build a happy relationship with food so they can live their fullest life.

I would love you to come and join me in my Facebook community The Food Freedom Collective

Where you will find:

• Information surrounding the myths and misconceptions surrounding food and eating

• How to cut through the diet culture crap

• Mindset help and support

• Motivation and steps to get off the diet rollercoaster for good

• Discussion and information on how to work through specific challenges

• Tasty and nutritious meal and snack ideas + inspiration

And be part of a supportive private community that gets you without feeling shame or judgement

because you do not have to battle this alone

And what’s more it won’t cost you a penny!

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, she feels ashamed of her body’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

You may also want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY